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They Think the
Rules Don't Apply to Them
In the Protecting
God's Children® program, we say that one of the warning signs of
a potential child molester is that they think the rules don't apply
to them. What "rules" are we talking about, anyway? And,
how can our awareness of this warning sign make a difference?
This warning sign
is one that, perhaps, shows up in more areas and situations than any
other warning sign of sexual abuse. Because child molesters view the
world differently than the rest of us, we have to set aside some of
our own assumptions in order to be continuously alert to the ways
that this warning sign can show up.
For example, one
of the Protecting God's Children videos mentions people who don't
follow established policies and procedures as an illustration of the
concept that "the rules don't apply to them." However, this
is just the tip of the iceberg. There are many other situations that
demonstrate this same point.
For us to apply
this rule in a meaningful way, it is important that we begin to think
about how our thought processes and logic could inadvertently benefit
a child molester in his or her effort to get access to children and
young people. We also need to understand how knowing this warning
sign can make a difference.
Ignores
Standard Policies and Procedures
People who are a
risk to children typically think that the standard policies and
operating procedures are meant for someone else-not them. They may
try to justify the failure to follow policies and procedures by using
such excuses as:
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"I've always
done it this way."
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"I don't mind
staying late and, anyway, the other religious education teachers need
to get their children home."
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"I have a
great relationship with these boys. Their parents don't mind them
riding alone with me."
The fact that
someone tries to go around standard operating policies and procedures
does NOT mean that the person is a child molester. Ignoring policies
and procedures is a common pattern in some communities. So, how will
knowing this warning sign make any difference at all?
One way that
knowing this warning sign can impact a potential molester's ability
to get access to children is for a community of adults to begin
rigorously following the rules. When the rest of those working with
children and young people are adhering to the policies and following
the established procedures, the behavior of the one who ignores these
things becomes quite noticeable. When something is noticeable, it
draws the attention of others. And, attention and appropriate action
are the keys to intervening before a child is molested.
Ignores the
"Rules" of Society
In the video A
Plan to Protect God's Children, the younger offender demonstrates
that he doesn't think the rules of society apply to him. He talks
about taking pictures of young naked neighborhood boys at his
house-not posed still photos, but action photos of the boys
"jumping on the bed, and the like." He thought the photos
were okay because the boys "weren't doing anything sexual,"
so he took them to a local photo developer to have prints made.
Responsible adults
know that it is a violation of the rules of our society to photograph
naked children-particularly 10-year-old boys from the neighborhood.
However, this is an example of how a potential child molester
thinks-and how his or her thought process is different from the rest
of society. This failure to recognize the inappropriateness of his
behavior was the key to his being arrested. Noticing these types of
incidents can heighten our awareness of potentially risky adults in
our own communities.
Thinks that
they can get away with things.
We can see that
there are elements of this attitude in many of the warning signs in
the Protecting God's Children program. The fact that potential
abusers allow children to do things their parents wouldn't permit or
that they structure time alone with children in areas where their
activities cannot be monitored are examples of this kind of thinking.
However, molesters
also think that they can use our "logic system" against us
in order to get away with things. For example, it seems logical to
assume that anyone who willingly signs an authorization for a
criminal background check or allows fingerprinting for that purpose
is certain that his or her own record is "clean." In the
past, some supervisors have used that logic to forgo the time and
expense of actually conducting the background check.
So, many molesters
don't believe anyone will actually conduct a background check. One
organization demonstrated that notion through its own experience. The
Civil Air Patrol started conducting annual criminal background checks
on approximately 31,000 adult volunteers in 1988. In the first four
years of the background checks, the Civil Air Patrol found 70
convicted sex offenders applying to work with the young people in
their program-more than 15 convicted child molesters a year.[i]
Our view of
"references" is another example of how our own logic gets
in the way. We normally expect people to provide only those
references who will say good things about them. After all, that's
what we would do! However, many times the people on a potential child
molester's list of references will tell the truth when asked whether
the person is safe to be working with children at a church or school.
Child molesters
think you won't follow through with the references because they think
the rules don't apply to them.
Conclusion
It is important
for us to remember that the thinking of a potential child molester is
just distorted enough to give us an edge if we pay attention. We must
look for the indications that someone thinks that the rules-both
written and assumed-don't apply to them. We must also avoid buying
into the logic that convinces us of such things as "no one in
their right mind would sign and authorization for a criminal
background check if they knew they were on a sex offender registry."
Remember-perpetrators
of child sexual abuse are not in their right mind. And, if we pay
attention to the behavior of those around us, this can really work to
our advantage in helping to prevent sexual abuse. |
