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What if I
Communicate My Concerns About Possible Abuse and Nothing Happens?
There are risks
all around us. Some are serious risks. Others are less serious. Some
risks affect children, while others do not. We may not recognize all
the risks around us, but we certainly recognize some of them. So, why
is it that some adults never report their concerns about child
safety? For many, it's the belief-or fear-that recognizing and
reporting risky behavior will accomplish &ldots; nothing. If you have
a genuine concern about a child's safety, how far are you willing to
go to protect the child?
What if we see
someone engaging in a risky behavior and we tell that person,
directly, about our concerns-and the behavior does not stop? What if
we tell that person's supervisor and the response is to disregard or
discount our concerns and to do nothing about the problems we've
witnessed? Then what? What is the next thing for us to do?
As caring adults,
we must not be deterred in our commitment to protect children and
make all our environments safe. Therefore, when our concerns are not
treated seriously or when they are ignored or brushed off by either
the risky individual or his or her supervisor, we must not give up.
However, it is also important to remember that the response-and, in
fact, an appropriate response-to our communication may not look the
way we think it should.
What if there's
no apparent response by the person exhibiting the risky behavior?
We would like to
think that a person would want to know if their behavior with
children and young people was causing concern for other adults.
However, some people may respond by discounting what you say and by
writing you off as a "busybody" or as someone who
overreacts. Even if you have created a context or framework for the
conversation and the person is not a real risk to children, your
comments may not be well received. The individual may react by taking
your concerns to heart and making changes, by ignoring your comments
altogether, or by simply disregarding anything you say as having no relevance.
Regardless of
whether someone reacts strongly or seems to take the comments well,
what happens next is the key. If you see that there is no change in
behavior and no effort to address the concerns you've raised, then
you must take the next step. A person who exhibits risky behavior and
refuses to modify his or her behavior cannot be ignored. You should
take your concerns to the person's direct supervisor and let the
supervisor know that you talked with the person and nothing changed.
Don't give up-even when it seems as if your actions are making no difference.
What if the
supervisor doesn't respond?
For many people,
reporting to the supervisor is the safest avenue for dealing with and
impacting the situation. However, a frequent complaint is that
reporting to supervisors does no good. If the risky employee or
volunteer is well liked or respected, people may think that the
supervisor will discount or completely disregard the report. In
addition, some are concerned that the supervisor will not have the
same level of concern about the behavior that they have and will,
therefore, take no action. So, what do you do if nothing happens
after you talk with the supervisor?
First, remember
that, unless the supervisor tells you directly that nothing will be
done, you might not be aware of everything that has transpired
between the supervisor and the person you've reported. For example,
when nothing happens immediately, it might be that the supervisor
needs time to observe the person and see for him or herself the
behavior in question.
However, it may
eventually become apparent that the supervisor or pastor has actually
disregarded your concerns. You may see no change in behavior-and, in
fact, the same risky behavior may continue even more overtly, or with
greater frequency. In some cases the supervisor or pastor may tell
you directly that he or she doesn't agree or doesn't intend to take
any action.
In those cases,
you must take your concerns to the next person in the supervisory
chain of command. If you have a legitimate concern, don't stop
because your intentions are thwarted. Keep bringing this matter to
the attention of those in charge. Document your concerns. If nobody
will take action at the parish or school, call the diocese.
Ultimately,
regardless of the initial response, if you have concerns about
someone's risky behavior with children and young people, you must be
willing to be persistent. The Church has declared its commitment to
creating safe environments. However, it will take time for the
training and education to impact those who work with children. Don't despair-persevere! |
