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Protecting
God's Children for Adults
Incest: The
Ultimate Betrayal, Part 1
In the 1984 Golden
Globe and Emmy award-winning made-for-TV movie, Something About
Amelia, the cast brilliantly portrays the emotional turmoil of the
revelation of incest between a father and his daughter. The movie
shows what incest can do to an entire family, not just the victim.
This
groundbreaking television movie opens a Pandora's box of emotions and
reactions. It demonstrates the disgust, disbelief, anger, resentment,
and sadness that fill those affected. It also reminds everyone that
rehabilitation and forgiveness are possible.
Among the most
poignant scenes in the movie are those that demonstrate the
conspiracy of secrecy that surrounds this crime. The wall of secrecy
and denial that surrounds intrafamilial sexual abuse is virtually impenetrable.
A broader
understanding of the nature and scope of incest is an important
element in our continuing efforts to eliminate child sexual abuse
from society. In this article we will discuss the nature and scope of
incest in the United States, the consequences for victims, and how we
can be instrumental in preventing this from happening in our families.
How prevalent
is incest?
In the past 20
years, society has started to shine a light on the darkness of
incest. As a result of the public attention to the problem, some have
questioned whether this is an indication that the problem is getting
worse. Unfortunately, incest has been a mainstay of most societies
throughout time.[i] Even today there are some countries where
pedophiles are welcome and sexual activities with children are legal.
One of the most
common early myths about child sexual abuse was that strangers
committed most sexual abuse. Most perpetrators are not "dirty
old men" who snatch kids out of playgrounds or lure them away
from parks with candy. Strangers commit only 11 percent of child
sexual abuse.
However, the
realization that strangers are not the primary risk group has given
rise to a new myth. Today it is commonly believed that incest is the
most common form of sexual abuse. In fact, the largest number of
abuse incidents is committed by people known and trusted by the
children and the families.
People
biologically related to the child perpetrate 29 percent of sexual
abuse on our children.[ii] An estimated 16 percent of adult women
were sexually abused by a relative before they were 18 years old.
[iii] Fathers sexually abused their own daughters in 4.5 percent of
the cases. The perpetrators in the remaining 12 percent were uncles,
brothers, grandfathers, and cousins.
When extrapolated
to the general female population, the research shows that
approximately 1 out of every 6 women was sexually abused during their
childhood by a relative-and slightly more than one-fourth of those
victims were molested by their own fathers.
Another group of
victims in families are the women raised by stepfathers. According to
the legal definition, abuse by a stepfather is not incest. However,
some experts have pointed out that "from a psychological point
of view, it does not matter if the father and child are blood
relatives. What matters is the relationship that exists by virtue of
the adult's parental power and the child's dependency." [iv]
Seventeen percent
of the women raised by stepfathers were abused by them before they
were 14 years old.[v] This means that one out of every six girls who
had a stepfather as a key person in her life was molested by him
before her 14th birthday.
The numbers are
startling and point to a dangerous situation in families across this
country. The damage caused by this type of abuse can be devasting and
it can last for years and years. Failure to understand the scope of
this problem perpetuates the conspiracy of silence and aggravates the
consequences for victims.
What is the
effect of incest on victims?
Effects of incest
on the victims are many and varied. However, most researchers assess
the effects of child sexual abuse by looking to see what kind of
disruption the abuse has on the child's adult life. According to Dr.
David Finkelhor, it seems as if "the impact of an event on
childhood itself is treated as less important. It is only
'childhood,' a stage which, after all, everyone outgrows."[vi]
Today we know that
the damage to children can be serious and the scars can last a
lifetime. The ability of a child to recover is impacted by a number
of factors:
Incest is the
supreme betrayal of trust. Sexual abuse by biological fathers and
stepfathers seems to leave the most severe scars.[ix] Female victims
experience greater feelings of betrayal when the abuse is at the
hands of their biological fathers. However, abuse by brothers,
uncles, and grandfathers also causes considerable trauma.[x]
Regardless of who
commits the abuse, the victim suffers serious consequences. However,
one of the difficulties in dealing with child incest victims is that
the child may not appear to be hurt or upset at the time of the
abuse. It may be weeks, months, or even years before the real effects
are evident.[xi]
Among the
predominant behavioral impacts on young children are:
In adolescents the
behavioral effects include:
Among the more
widespread effects on adult women (who were sexually abused as
children) are:
The fact that some
incest victims are victimized by more than one perpetrator is also
disturbing.[xiii] Girls who were abused by more than one perpetrator
were also frequently abused more than once by each. This suggests
that these girls were, for some reason, unable to stop the abuse.[xiv]
Evidence exists of
a strong relationship between sexual abuse as a child and later
victimization experiences. It is possible that "millions of
American girls are being socialized into victim roles."[xv]
There also seems
to be a "connection between incest victimization and drug abuse,
prostitution, suicide, mental illness, self-mutilation, alcoholism,
running away from home, and later becoming a mother who is less able
to protect her daughters from incest victimization."[xvi]
When a family
member sexually victimizes a child, the child's ability to trust is
crushed. The child does not have any experience of trusting,
intimate, sexual relationships, so the violation is pivotal in
shaping the child's sense of who he or she is and what sex is about.
One consequence of these distortions is that victims of
father-daughter incest are "about four times more likely than
non-incest victims to report being asked to pose for pornography as
well as being asked to enact it."[xvii] Victims of sexual abuse
by other relatives reported similar experiences.[xviii]
Although there are
long-term consequences of child sexual abuse, victims of child sexual
abuse are apparently more likely than victims of non-sexual physical
abuse to blame the perpetrator.[xix] Children, particularly female
children, seem to know that adults should not engage in sexual
activity with children-even people who are an important part of their family.
Victims find
themselves not trusting-not trusting themselves, not trusting others,
and not trusting God. The closer the relationship between the child
victim and the perpetrator, the longer the abuse goes on, and the
more intense the sexual activity, the greater the damage to the
victim. Incest must be stopped if we are to create a safe future for
all of God's children.
Conclusion
Children have the
right to grow up and learn about themselves and their own sexuality
in a healthy, loving atmosphere. Adult family members are responsible
for teaching children, guiding them, and protecting them from anyone
inside the family or outside the family who wants to use the child
for sexual gratification.
In our next
training bulletin, on October 9, we'll discuss specific steps that
adults can take to improve communication with children and to stop
incest in its tracks.
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