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Warning Signs in Children: Cries
for Help
It is clear that our ability to pay
attention to children helps us to build bonds of trust and encourages
their normal development. Actively listening to children leaves them
with a greater sense that we care about them and that our caring
makes them safer.
Unfortunately, there is no
guarantee that we can prevent all incidents of harm to children. When
a child has been victimized they can be afraid to tell anyone,
including their parent, about the offense. They may not tell us
verbally, but they do communicate their pain. It is crucial that we
pay attention to children’s signals so that we are able to
detect the sometimes subtle changes that can occur after a child has
been a victim of sexual abuse. We must be familiar with their normal
moods, habits, and their general ways of being. It is then that we
are able to recognize behavioral changes that may indicate a
significant problem.
An abused child will communicate in
ways that almost shout, "Please notice me, see what has happened
to me." It is the responsibility of all caring adults to take
action to ensure a child's safety and wellbeing.
Many sex offenders act against
victims in stages. In essence, they often attempt to gradually build
from minor boundary violations to full blown sexual assaults. The
hopeful news is that there is often an opportunity to intervene
before the offense becomes most severe. In the sad case where the
offense has already become severe, we must intervene so that it is
stopped and the child is helped.
When we think of "warning
signs," we must keep in mind that we are never certain abuse has
occurred until the child confides in us or until a medical, forensic,
or psychological examination gives evidence that abuse has occurred.
Every child is an individual and a
particular behavior in one might signal a problem, while in another
child it could be only a sign of some developmental struggle. This
reinforces the importance of maintaining an open and trusting
relationship with your child. If we notice a problem, then our
relationship with the child and the degree to which he or she trusts
us will go a long way in determining how much this child confides and
how soon that child gets help and is made safe again.
Let us look at some behaviors that
may be warning signs that some form of sexual abuse has occurred or
is occurring:
1. Signs of anxiety or excessive nervousness
2. Signs that child has fear of
particular adult or older child
3. Depressed mood
4. Self-harming behaviors,
including cutting one’s self
5. Withdrawing from family or
friends, isolative behaviors
6. Change in sleep patterns or
bedwetting where there was no problem with such in the recent past
7. Expressions of pains or
illnesses where there is no medical cause
8. Increased nightmares
9. Increased aggression
10. Drug use
11. Indications of pain in genital
or anal areas
12. Increase sexualized behaviors,
talk, or knowledge that are not age appropriate
13. Attempts to sexualize
relationships with adults or other children
14. Onset of academic difficulties
in school
15. Sudden change in dress, ranging
from attempts to cover self to wearing sexualized outfits
16. Fear of going home from school
or other activities
17. Touching of own genitals
excessively and/or publicly
Remember that any of the signs
listed or any combination of these behaviors could be warning signs
of sexual abuse. It is important to note that if these signs are
present, a professional should be contacted for assistance. A child
could be in danger from sexual abuse or other forms of abuse, or he
or she could be going through some difficult developmental issues.
Take appropriate steps to immediately intervene and contact the
professionals in your community to speak with the child so that
whatever has lead to problematic behaviors can be addressed. |
