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Support Groups for Family Members
The experience of having a loved
one abused, exploited, or harassed at any age is difficult. For
family members who have been standing by, not really knowing what is
truly wrong with their child, sibling, husband, wife, or other loved
one can be a frightening, unsettling and disturbing life experience
to watch. How do we help them, or ourselves, for that matter? What is
the best way to help someone else, whether he or she has confided in
you, or not? What should you do? Take the first step and join a
support group; it may helpful for both you and your family. To begin,
it will help you as you try to unfold and understand the abuse and
your feelings about it. What do you need to heal from this
experience, and how can you work with the survivor?
The important concept to remember
is that you are not alone on this journey, because others have
suffered the same losses or pain that you have experienced in a like
manner. A support group is a group of people who are parents, family
members, and loved ones of those who have suffered from sexual abuse,
exploitation, or harassment. The purpose of a support group is
healing and empowerment with a trained therapist or other group
leader. Groups led by a therapist usually have a weekly or monthly
fee. A support group can be sponsored by a church or a family agency,
organization, or members who want to get together to share some of
their experiences of abuse. This is often done to begin the healing
journey by processing anger, the sense of betrayal, loss of trust.
Support groups facilitate healing, one step at a time.
Attending a support group can be
difficult at first. It takes time to feel comfortable about sharing
your problems with others. It is important to focus on your
perceptions of what happened to your loved one and how you feel it
has affected you. The key to encouraging group members to share
difficult and personal issues is confidentiality. Everything said in
the group by the members stays at the group meeting. Confidentiality,
along with respect and trust promotes safety which is a necessary
component of support groups. To feel safe is a basic right of every
person, and learning how to be safe is at the core of healing. You
need to have the freedom to be able to speak directly about your
pain. It is important to speak for yourself and use statements
containing, “I think,” “I believe,” and “I
feel.” Once people feel comfortable with one another, they open
up and find their problems are not so different from the other
members of the group. By sharing their concerns, they begin to feel
less alone. The number of participants may vary depending on the
format used. The ideal size for any group is five to nine members.
However, educational groups can be larger. Meetings begin at a time
that most members can get together on a regular basis. Organize
groups for a set number of weeks or as ongoing meetings. It is
important to set guidelines for the group at the very beginning.
Being with other people who have shared similar experiences is a
critical part of the healing process, and joining a group is an ideal
way to work with others. Support groups encourage members to share
information, give and receive mutual support, and exchange practical
coping skills. The group can provide sources for mental health,
social service, and mentoring program referrals. By joining a support
group for family members of a sexual abuse survivor, you have taken
action to try to understand how deeply your loved one was hurt. This
action can be of great significance to you, the survivor, and other
family members. |
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