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I Love Working
with Kids-How do I Keep People from Thinking I'm a Child Molester?
Media attention on
the problem of child sexual abuse continues to rise. News stories
highlight children abused repeatedly and apparently abandoned by the
child protection system. Television shows and movies based on a story
"ripped from the headlines," remind us that child molesters
are very clever. They possess the ability to gain access to children
and the skill to continue their crimes against children. They
convince others that they truly care about children and love working
with and being with children. This ability of a molester to convince
others of his or her commitment to children may result in a general
suspicion and anxiety about anyone who loves working with children.
Those who love
working with children and are committed to children's ministry may
wonder how to continue with this ministry while simultaneously
protecting themselves from unwarranted suspicions and false
allegations. How does someone who loves working with children keep
people from thinking he or she is a child molester?
The video A Plan
to Protect God's Children™ identifies behavioral warning signs
between adults and children that should give rise to concern. Being
clear about the warning signs and making sure that your behavior does
not cross boundaries is the best way to ensure that people will
continue to trust your commitment to children.
Monitor your own
behavior. Be sure that you are not acting in ways that may cause concern.
For example, one
of the warning signs is someone who always wants to be alone with
children. This does not mean that adults who work with children
should never be alone with children. It means that anyone who notices
an adult who always wants to be alone with children-who discourages
others from participating and creates environments where activities
with minors cannot be monitored-should intervene in the situation and
raise their concerns with the person's supervisors.
To ensure that
people do not think you are a child molester, make sure that you
encourage other adults to participate in activities with children and
create an atmosphere of openness in your interactions with children.
When you must meet alone with a child, make sure others are aware of
the meeting and invite others to drop in, unannounced, during the
time you and the child are alone.
Another warning
sign addresses those who go overboard in touching
children-particularly wrestling and tickling children who are not
their own. Does this mean that you should never touch a child who
comes to you crying and needs to be comforted? No. Touching children
is not the problem. Going overboard in touching children is the problem.
Monitoring your
own behavior requires that you take stock of the activities you
create with children to determine whether games or exercises involve
touching that could be construed as intimate. For example, youth
ministers in the past have employed games or exercises intended to
build trust and confidence among their young participants. However,
the level of touching involved in those games may condition children
to accept intimate touches from an adult. If you need to create
exercises to help children and young people learn team skills and
gain individual and group confidence, it is crucial that you find
activities that produce the desired results without involving any
intimate touching.
Be creative and
inventive. Look for other activities that build trust and confidence
without compromising your commitment to the well-being of children.
Ask yourself, "What is this exercise's intended benefit?"
Then find another way to produce the same result without going
overboard in touching children.
Avoid putting
yourself in harm's way. Make yourself aware of the warning signs of
adults who are a risk of harm to children and monitor your own
behavior in order to avoid activities and actions that give rise to
concerns. Ask those around you to tell you if they notice something
that provokes concern. Use the eyes and ears of those you work and
volunteer with to create a proactive environment that is safe for
everyone involved.
A love of children
and a commitment to them is a prerequisite for anyone involved in
activities and ministry with children. Loving children does not make
you an abuse suspect. Inappropriate behavior makes you a suspect. By
learning about the warning signs of abuse and the rules of
appropriate touching, you have the power to protect yourself from
false accusations by making sure your own interaction with children
is above reproach. |
